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LSS
Stillwater - All I Can Remember

Sunday, June 04, 2006
The Long Blog Goodnight

Wow! It’s been two weeks! This is a late update, so I promise to make this well worth the delay.
Like I said, it’s been two weeks since I left Manila. Two weeks! And already it feels like a lifetime! Things have been going rather well, health conditions notwithstanding (I got sore eyes AND a major fever/cold last week, but I’m okay now… I think).

First things first (I have a barrage of excuses coming up, but they’re all true! Promise!), the reason I couldn’t blog for a while was because of technical problems (well, not really). One, dial up Internet SUCKS, totally! When I went to Globe to apply for DSL, they said they needed a certificate of lease, and WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? WHY?!? WHAT FOR?!?! I mean, it’s not like we’ll be running out of a house we’ve been living in for the past 12 years! But that’s not even the point, is it? The point is: IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE NOT GOING TO PAY THEIR MEASLY 900 PESO MONTHLY FEE!

Okay. Secondly, when I got to realizing that I would have to live with a dial-up connection indefinitely, I decided to get over it and surf anyway (AT 40 kbps! AMAZING! baaaaahhhhh!!). I was about to check my friendster account when suddenly this alert window popped up saying that this program called SpyFalcon detected malicious software on my PC… Now the thing is, I KNOW I never installed a program called SpyFalcon. But the idiot sheep sheep side of me thought “Oh, well, since I put my Automatic Updates on, it COULD be possible that this was a free Microsoft update! How nice of them!”

I scold myself on two accounts whenever I remember thinking that because: a) I was STUPID enough to think that Microsoft would actually give anything that useful out for free, and b) I was dumb enough to fall for the old Trojan horse. And the DUMBEST thing I ever did was I actually tried to download a serial number for it! Aaarrgghh! Ah well, you live, you learn.

So anyway, it turns out that SpyFalcon actually WAS the malicious software (and a particularly potent one, at that). Whenever I would try to download stuff against it or touch the registry, it would automatically turn the computer off. So I HAD to reformat the PC. Twice. I know, I know, some of you might suggest to boot in Safe Mode and delete it from there, but, well, I only thought about that when I had initiated the reformatting. Crap.

“So what”, you might say. Reformatting doesn’t take that long, right? Well, yes. It doesn’t take long, but the thing is, ehehhehe… I lost my MS-Office installer and the one I burned met with an accident (don’t ask). So me being my lazy self, as always, never really took the time to buy a new one (until yesterday, coz my mom found out I reformatted and I have this issue with her being “feeling computer literate”, but that’s for another blog entry).

“SO WHAT AGAIN!!! Why don’t you type with Notepad or on the Blog site itself?!?” That’s true. I COULD have done that, but like I said: Dial Up Internet Sucks (especially when you have to pay for it with your own money). And as far as notepad is concerned, I love using it with HTML, but there IS NO WAY THAT I WILL WRITE ON IT SERIOUSLY! Why? I don’t know. I just don’t feel it. It’s not a matter of life and death, right? Right.

OKAAAAY!! So much for my meanwhiles. “What?! There’s MORE?!?!?”. C’mon you didn’t think I spent the past two weeks in front of a PC, did’ja? (although there is good reason to believe that).

NOTE: so I don’t reply thru text these days, right? Bear with me, I often misplace the useless thing

I left Manila exactly two weeks ago. It was a Sunday. I took a boat ‘coz I had so much stuff! I even had to take Ashley with me.

Now, I have been predisposed to believe that boat rides are nice, VERY nice. Experience proves that. I had always thought boat rides are nice. Until now…

Did you know that I had to file a really, really, REALLY late booking? The whole issue of my leaving date being tentative and all. So well, because I wasn’t able to get a cabin for myself, I had to ride in the Tourist Class. And there the problem arises.

It was HOT. It was WARM. It was DIRTY. It was CRAMPED. And it was overall UNCOMFORTABLE. I COULD NOT SLEEP!! Why? Because since I was staying in the top part of a bunk bed and because it was so cramped, my head hit the ceiling whenever I tried to sit up! Aaaarggghhh! It’s not because I’m tall or anything, the ceiling was just really, really low!!
So I took to staying on the topmost part of the ship, and it was nice there because the view was nice (yes, I know “nice” is an adjective, very good). Until I ran out of lighter fluid…

AAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!! NO!!!!! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!

But there were a few things that made the trip bearable. Like the computer shop with Diablo II and the fruit shakes but the BEST one was the K! Videoke Challenge episode on GMA that night. Okay, okay, I know it’s stupid and lame and bakya and jologs and all that, but read the next sentence and you’ll understand why I was glued to it.

Katrina Halili guested and won that night, in pink bikinis.

Not so lame now, eh? Heheheheh… So well, that was the boat ride.

When I got to Bacolod, it was raining like hell (it rains here every day). I was drenched, I was soaked, I was tired. But when I got home, I saw something really nice.

A PC. In my room. MY room. Excellent!

You can insert my technical problem story here. Or you could read it again. Done? Okay, let’s continue. But I MUST say there isn’t much more to say after this.

The first week consisted of me trying out different clothes here in the house to see which ones would fit. I saw clothes I haven’t seen in six years! Amazing! I also had to find out what I could do about my “schooling” here. BUT that’s for ANOTHER blog entry.

I also saw my old friends, and of course whenever I’m with them, one can never discount the intake of alcohol. So there. It was cool to see them again, and it seems I’m not in such a bad state after all. I mean, we’re all in the same rut, after all. But just because we’re in a rut doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, right?

And, haaaah, this last week was tiring. Mentally. Things were utopian during the first week, I couldn’t believe it myself, but I always thought in the back of my mind to brace for the coming of something bad. And I was right. Storms are beginning to brew and my presence is starting to disturb a homeostatic status quo. Which is why in the past week, I have given up my room, some vices and a few indulgences. Things can get worse, since it’s still pretty much an adjustment period. But if there’s one thing hanging out in the wall has taught me, it’s that things DO have a chance of getting better. It’s just a matter of hanging on.

So overall. Heading back here was a big step. I don’t think I realized how big until I actually got here, lived here, slept here, and started killing my social life little by little. But, this is a return to basics, a return to what works, a return to favor. This plan will work because of two things:

a) It’s a better plan than anything else

b) I am going to make it work

And about my social life, I don’t think I’ll miss it. I am antisocial, first and foremost. I only get out the shell because of the extraordinary people around me. What I WILL miss are these people. Specific people. Not “people” who are attached to specific rules of social behavior. What? I’m not making sense! And perhaps this means I should end this entry (BEFORE it gets too confusing, and before it gets TOO personal).

Haaaah… Oh well… I miss the wall. I miss the wall people. I miss eastwood. I miss the eastwood people.

mauve angelus dreamt on* 5:18 AM

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