(in response to the "don't eat eggs" and "don't drink cold water because it causes cancer" campaigns)
i've been wanting to write about this for the longest time now, i guess i just never got around to it (just like everything and anything else), but i owe the subject a lot.. so here...
okay, the 19th century brought us a lot of technological innovations, from the electric butterfly abs machine to the very personal computer i do so love, but this is one about one of the most underrated invention of all: the flush type toilet.
In 1885, Thomas Tyword built the first one-piece china toilet using the flush-out siphon design by J. G. Jennings, the following year in 1886: an early jet flush toilet was manufactured by the Beaufort Works in Chelsea, England. Since then, it has been an indispensable furnishing for the modern home. For who can deny its beauty and usefulness! It keeps the bad stuff out of the holiest of holy places in our homes! It answers to one of the most basic needs of man! And it makes for the most commonly used strategies in eliciting cheap humor reactions! wow!
for the longest time, i've been obsessed (read: OBSESSED) with the attainment of "the perfect flush", (i think i was nine when i started to ponder on its possibility). Anyway, WHAT THE HELL IS THE PERFECT FLUSH?
the perfect flush is, for lack of better terms, the most perfect form of flushing a man can achieve. It involves pressing the automatic flush lever at exactly the right time (calculating swirls and twists and turns and water pressure plus gravitational effects plus the individual toilet's shape and contour) to coincide with the ceasing of urinal flow (thus in effect reducing the amount of time a person spends in a washroom).
in layman's terms: it's when the flushing drains at exactly the same time you stop pissing.
now this may not be of any immediate importance to anyone. but think, it'd be extremely useful when watching a movie at the time you take a piss break! or in jobs when you take a piss break! or at school! you could squeeze a cigarette stick in your measly one minute bathroom break! imagine!!!!
using traditional production formulas and dividing time with the elements and adding the factor of indiscriminate productivity and general average worker disposition, we would now see that the perfect flush would cause a 25.216% increase in overall production when employed in a typical workplace setting! amazing!
i myself have only attained the perfect flush on only two occasions, each only attributing itself to a cause of typical alcohol intoxication and/or a fluke accident which i have yet to conclusively gather information from. and i can assure you, it made a whole lot of difference on the succeeding hours that involved productivity of any sort
i believe that this newfound gleaning will contribute to world peace and obliterate poverty. i hope to win a nobel prize for this and i want to better the lot of all humanity with my analysis.
that is why urge everyone (you, my friends) to propagate this. i furthermore urge everyone of you to conduct researches on this subject and submit your findings regarding this. I would greatly appreciate any additional information that anyone can supplant regarding this research. i need all the input i can get. One man alone cannot finish this daunting task, but together we can accomplish this and put an end to the suffering and the pain that is so endemic to our common races.
please! we must be aware! the perfect flush is one of the greatest clues to health left to us by our forefathers! it is up to us to unlock its hidden secrets!
it's 1:30 AM. and because this is when downloads tend to progress faster, i dare not shut the PC down.
11 hours and 30 minutes from now, i have class. I thoroughly detest class. And the fact that it's a three hour class on a SUNDAY makes me detest it even more.
i've never been the "schoolboy" most people make me out to be. People (or at least a vast majority of people these days) think that I'm the type who wakes up early every day eagerly anticipating another schoolday and goes home to read his textbooks for the next day.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I've always known that if there's one thing i hate, it's sitting in a classroom waiting for the bell to ring. It's always struck me as a complete waste of a perfectly good day. this feeling has been compounded by my entire ordeal in college and my having had experience with a job. Another thing i hate is reading anything i'm required to.
the entire exercise of schools today seems to be rather outdated. the trend is you HAVE to get a diploma BEFORE you actually amount to anything. I think it's wrong. It might've worked in the old days because information was scarce and school was the proper medium to channel it, but you certainly can't think that's true now, can you? I mean, everything's in the internet these days (take it however you want it), who's to say you can't learn in 5 minutes what it would take 5 months to learn in school.
okay, okay, this is starting to sound stupid to you, and i know that you can't phase the entire concept of schooling out. that's asinine. what blasphemy! what heresy! okay. i get it. i'm just hapless and bitter. whatever.
all i'm saying is maybe people should be more open-minded, a degree of education doesn't always assure knowledge, it just implies a sort of halcyon blind allegiance to a system that probably doesn't work that well in the first place. when it comes to education and learning, there are no universal solutions (actually there are no universal solutions, period). is it so hard to understand that some people just aren't made for school?
but to turn nietzschean: this is probably just because i really hate having to go to school for three hours on a sunday.
"it was all that i wanted, now i'm living without...it's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows..." OVERHAUL COMING UP...
something got caught.. errr? what?!?!?
Male, 21, Single
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Location: Philippines
Hometown: slumberland...
Schools:
University of St. La Salle-IS, University of the Philippines- Manila
Occupation:
dreamer, sophisticated jologs
Companies:ignored industries
Affiliations:
The Amazing Losers Organization (TALO!), team FS, i-squared, Brickwall People, Superplan X
Hobbies and Interests:
dreaming, sleeping
Favorite Books:
the Holy Bible, the imitation of Christ, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Interview with the Vampire, Eraserheads' Fruitcake, El Filibusterismo, Of Punks Poets and Poseurs, LotR, The Purgatorio, The Inferno, V, The Final Conflict, The Vampire Lestat, The Prophet, the perks of being a wallflower
Favorite Movies:
reality bites, rockstar, star wars, kill bill, reservoir dogs, awww gawdammit! TARANTINO MOVIES IN GENERAL, (yes?!?), detroit rock city, wayne's world at siyempre Can this be Love? (ang umangal sisipain ko), Memoirs of a Geisha, Nasaan si Francis?
Favorite Music:
i need a list!!, eraserheads (with ely), rivermaya (luma), mr. big (with either kotzen or gilbert), smashing pumpkins (with d'arcy), nirvana, foo fighters (basta anjan c dave grohl astig!), counting crows, urbandub, our lady peace
