i don't believe in the thought of romantic love....
it just ends up hurting me.
i don't believe in pictures
nothing can hold the world still
i don't believe in forgiveness
i deserve to be hanged for my sins
i don't believe in redemption
i am tainted
i don't believe you
you're a friggin' liar.
mauve angelus dreamt on* 6:57 AM
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all apologies
it's been many years..
(three to be exact)
since i've written anything of any substance...
and since i can't really say these things to the people concerned, the blog seems like a viable alternative. you don't have to read the next few lines, i just need to get some things out.
i've been thinking a lot these past few days. of what was, what is, what would've been and what will be... the past three (four?) years have been all about escapism. about denying. about hiding. about... forgetting. To keep me from regretting; to keep me from regressing. And it's worked for the most part. all that bitterness is gone... all the past grudges, all the past anger.. gone. what remains is a lot of ...missing...
which is what brings us to this: i'm sorry. to whoever reads this and feels even a tinge of slighting from me: READ: i'm sorry. i see now that it's immature to keep holding on to feelings that may at one time or more have angered me. it's time to let go of all of that anger. ALL of it.
and if any of you don't feel that forgiving... well, i guess i understand. i deserve it too. i've been... .... ... ... ...angry... at a lot of things until now. and anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering.
ahhhh.... hmmmm... to post or not to post?
mauve angelus dreamt on* 4:48 AM
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archives
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i'm gonna put something here! wait!