it's been many years.. (three to be exact) since i've written anything of any substance...
and since i can't really say these things to the people concerned, the blog seems like a viable alternative. you don't have to read the next few lines, i just need to get some things out.
i've been thinking a lot these past few days. of what was, what is, what would've been and what will be... the past three (four?) years have been all about escapism. about denying. about hiding. about... forgetting. To keep me from regretting; to keep me from regressing. And it's worked for the most part. all that bitterness is gone... all the past grudges, all the past anger.. gone. what remains is a lot of ...missing...
which is what brings us to this: i'm sorry. to whoever reads this and feels even a tinge of slighting from me: READ: i'm sorry. i see now that it's immature to keep holding on to feelings that may at one time or more have angered me. it's time to let go of all of that anger. ALL of it.
and if any of you don't feel that forgiving... well, i guess i understand. i deserve it too. i've been... .... ... ... ...angry... at a lot of things until now. and anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
tsk... of age and innocence (or lack thereof)
it's been far too long since i've posted anything here and it's probably because:
1) i don't have anything to write about 2) i'm too f*cking lazy to write about anything 3) i've been too busy to write about anything 4) i'm a lot dumber these days 5) i'm too happy to express discontent over anything (yeah right, like, not quite)
as for the title, don't ask about it because as i'm writing this right now, i've left the title box empty for at least an hour now. i've always had a problem with appending titles to anything. why can't it ever be as easy as they make it in the movies? you know, when this super tortured soul writes a title in his preferred word processor application and everything in the body follows, or when generic art painter guy decides to paint about a summer day and he just does it magically... maybe it's just me, maybe i'm just not built that way. whatever.
no wait, i want to go on with this, i think i'm on to something here.
an introspection! an introspection! (oh boy, what else is new?)
i can't start things. i really can't. it's one of my "super-faults."
i
JUST
DON'T
KNOW
HOW
TO
START
THiNGS!!
(yeah, that and i smoke like a chimney)
if anyone reads this and comes back to this page and doesn't see a new layout within a month has my permission to punch me.
You have extreme cycles of highs and lows. Sometimes you feel like you don't know who you are. One week you could be very hyper and happy and the next week you are slow and depressed.
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops, pull the trigger and the nightmare stops. pull the trigger and the nightmare stops
forever you will
forever you will learn...
whoever had the poetic license to write that was right on the money. but then again, he's the guy who also wrote about "waking up" and "doing anything for someone, and killing anyone for someone" and appending a sly "i love you" to the end of those lines.
"it was all that i wanted, now i'm living without...it's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows..." OVERHAUL COMING UP...
something got caught.. errr? what?!?!?
Male, 21, Single
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Location: Philippines
Hometown: slumberland...
Schools:
University of St. La Salle-IS, University of the Philippines- Manila
Occupation:
dreamer, sophisticated jologs
Companies:ignored industries
Affiliations:
The Amazing Losers Organization (TALO!), team FS, i-squared, Brickwall People, Superplan X
Hobbies and Interests:
dreaming, sleeping
Favorite Books:
the Holy Bible, the imitation of Christ, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Interview with the Vampire, Eraserheads' Fruitcake, El Filibusterismo, Of Punks Poets and Poseurs, LotR, The Purgatorio, The Inferno, V, The Final Conflict, The Vampire Lestat, The Prophet, the perks of being a wallflower
Favorite Movies:
reality bites, rockstar, star wars, kill bill, reservoir dogs, awww gawdammit! TARANTINO MOVIES IN GENERAL, (yes?!?), detroit rock city, wayne's world at siyempre Can this be Love? (ang umangal sisipain ko), Memoirs of a Geisha, Nasaan si Francis?
Favorite Music:
i need a list!!, eraserheads (with ely), rivermaya (luma), mr. big (with either kotzen or gilbert), smashing pumpkins (with d'arcy), nirvana, foo fighters (basta anjan c dave grohl astig!), counting crows, urbandub, our lady peace
